Porn and Lust – it’s just a part of life
Fun Fact: Humans are the only species that look each other in the eye during intercourse (intimacy)What is pornography? Is porn a good/effective way to alleviate feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, sexual desires? What are the consequences? How does porn affect relationships (specifically dating/marriage relationships)? Does it just affect you?Repeated exposure to porn results in a decreased satisfaction with one's sexual partner, with the partner's sexuality, with the partner's sexual curiosity, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness and an increase in the importance of sex without attachment.Pornography leaves the impression with its viewers that sex has no relationship to privacy; that it is unrelated to love, commitment or marriage; that bizarre forms of sex are the most gratifying; and that irresponsible sex has no adverse consequences.
Discussion 5/3: Porn and Lust - it's just a part of life
Fun Fact: Humans are the only species that look each other in the eye during intercourse (intimacy)
Lust
What is lust?
How can/do you deal with lust?
- Self-denial
Feel sufficiently guilty over the thoughts, avoided the opportunities for lust, and chose to discipline his wandering mind
Encourages self-hatred and denial - Self-enhancement
Admit that everyone is addicted
Increase self-absorption
Porn
What is pornography?
Talking about porn:
What is wrong with porn?
It meets my physical needs
I don't molest others nor am I involved with prostitutes
It only effects me
I can consume anything I want to consume and it won't have any effect on me.
If true, how can advertising/marketing be so important?
Why do you view porn?
Why is porn a secretive act?
Is porn a good/effective way to alleviate feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, sexual desires?
What are the consequences?
How does porn affect relationships (specifically dating/marriage relationships)?
Does it just affect you?
What about couples watching porn together?
What does the Bible say?
First we must recall that God created men and women in His image (Gen. 1:27) as sexual beings.
Pornography erodes the dignity of men and women created in the image of God. (This is the disintegrating view) Pornography distorts God's design for sex by promoting sex apart from the marriage covenant (1 Cor. 7:2-3). Moreover, Scripture specifically condemns behaviors that result from pornography such as sexual exposure (Gen. 9:21-23), adultery (Lev. 18:20), bestiality (Lev. 18:23), homosexuality (Lev. 18:22 and 20:13), incest (Lev. 18:6-18), and prostitution (Deut. 23:17-18).
The Bible also warns against the misuse of sex. Premarital and extramarital sex is condemned (1 Cor. 6:13-18; 1 Thess. 4:3). Even thoughts of sexual immorality (often fed by pornographic material) are condemned (Matt. 5:27-28).
Christians must realize that pornography can have significant harmful effects such as: a comparison mentality, a performance-based sexuality, a feeling that only forbidden things are sexually satisfying, increased guilt, decreased self concept, and obsessional thinking.
Statistics
$57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US
Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.
US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC (6.2 billion)
Average age of first Internet exposure: 11 years old
Largest Internet consumer: 12-17 age group
80% of 15-17 yr have had multiple hard exposures
8-16 year olds having viewed porn online 90%
Men admitting to accessing porn at work 20%
40 million US adults regularly visit porn websites
Promise Keeper men viewed porn in last week 53%
Christians who said it is a major home problem 47%
Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction 10%
72% male - 28% female visit websites
70% of women keep their cyber activities secret.
17% of all women struggle with porn addiction.
Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs.
Pervasive Disorders
- Voyeurism
- Objectification
- Validation
- Trophyism
- Fear of true intimacy
Other Effects
Repeated exposure to porn results in a decreased satisfaction with one's sexual partner, with the partner's sexuality, with the partner's sexual curiosity, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness and an increase in the importance of sex without attachment.
Pornography leaves the impression with its viewers that sex has no relationship to privacy; that it is unrelated to love, commitment or marriage; that bizarre forms of sex are the most gratifying; and that irresponsible sex has no adverse consequences.
Trivialization of rape as a criminal offense, exaggerated perceptions of the prevalence of most sexual practices, increased callousness toward female sexuality and concerns, dissatisfaction with sexual relationships and diminished caring for and trust in intimate partners.
Sources
The Power of Porn
http://www.veritas.org/3.0_media/talks/54
Pornography Statistics
http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html
What does the Bible say about pornography?
http://www.gotquestions.org/pornography.html
Pornography's Effects on Adult and Child
http://mentalhealthlibrary.info/library/porn/pornlds/pornldsauthor/links/victorcline/porneffect.htm
Pornography: The Deconstruction of Human Sexuality - Part VI
http://www.nationalcoalition.org/culture/articles/ca050214.html
Pure Intimacy
http://www.pureintimacy.org/
Why Discipline Isn't Enough
http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000123.cfm
Subtle Dangers of Pornography
http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000121.cfm
Dangers and Disappointments of Pornography
http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/intimacy/understanding/a0000133.cfm
April 4th, 2007 - 22:06
Do you offer help for Wives who have been damaged by abuse and pornography?
May 13th, 2008 - 17:23
Don’t call yourself “damaged.” That implies that there is something wrong with you. If you have been affected by a husband with a pornography, remember that you were not the first nor will you be the last. There are so many women in the same boat as you. Those women are probably experiencing the same things as you are: insecurity, humiliation, betrayal, lack of confidence, and feeling ugly or not sexy. Seek counseling no matter how your husband deals with the problem. The number one issue is your self-esteem and mental well-being. Then figure out what to do about your husband. If he desires to stop his addiction, great! Work with him–he needs your support. If he denies a problem and refuses to stop…well, only you know what you are willing to live with…
January 21st, 2009 - 23:47
I was molested as a young child. I have spoken to many victims of childhood molestation, and not one — NOT ONE! likes or can even tolerate porn. Women who formerly did the whole football team recoil at pornography. When I find evidence that my husband is using porn, I panic. I don’t want to have sex, but I do, hoping that if I “take care of him” that he’ll be less likely to hole up in the office with the computer and a wad of toilet paper, which just makes me sick. Here are how porn affects my sex life: I wonder if I’m doing it right. I wonder if I’m making the right noises. I wonder how ugly I look. I wonder if I’m NOT making the right noises. I no longer speak to him, telling him what I want or what feels good. I feel like porn stars are in our bed, because they’re in my head and I wonder which one he’s imagining while I’m having sex with him. NEVER will I do it with the lights on anymore. I wonder if he likes certain porn stars because they look like women he’s attracted to in real life. I cannot have sex without wondering who he is pretending I am. I can’t stand him to touch my stomach or my breasts, because they’re not firm and 17 years old. I wonder — should I shave? Do I look like a dweeb? Does everyone shave?
I hate it. I hate what porn has done to my sex life. On top of that, I feel obligated to have sex more often so that my husband won’t want to look at it because he isn’t “getting any” at home. I used to like sex and have fun and have orgasms. Now? HA! I do it much more, and I frickin hate it. I feel like I’m in grammar school with only my underwear on. Thanks, porn industry. Orgasms? Right. I found out from watching ten minutes of porn that I WAS DOING IT WRONG. I hate it. I hate porn and I hate that my husband and – what fat percent of –american males are ADDICTED TO IT.
I feel like my sex life has been stolen, and as a victim of childhood molestation, it wasn’t easy to develop a sex life at all. Yes, my grandfather finger banged me. Our neighbor would jack off on my window. Now, after years of working on that and developing a cherished sex life, it’ over. THANK YOU PORN.
November 30th, 2009 - 16:15
What’s wrong with porn? WHAT’S RIGHT WITH PORN? Don’t give me that jive about it being a release for would-be molestors. It’s been proven to to ignite ideas of molestation and even murder. One porn video has thousands if not millions of victims.
I love the new age views. They allow for all these lovely “spirit guides” and angels and cascades of positive thoughts and silver linings all around us. Porn is neither good nor bad, it simply is what it is to the beholder. Yeah, right. They don’t acknowledge the flip side of that sweet philosophy: for every front, there’s a back, for every up, there’s a down. Porn is a vile depiction of something that is flat-out supposed to be a private expression between people who love each other. Any other candy-coated application or use of sex (marketing, movies, etc.) is bullshit. Everything’s ok these days. Everything’s subjective – if it’s good for you, it’s good. Well, folks, that’s just not true. Porn has a domino effect of evil that ripples throughout our entire society. Pretending otherwise is stupid and destructive. Every porn “star” is someone’s daughter, son, sister, mother, dad, brother — and it hurts. However, it’s a multi-billion dollar industry, so I guess that makes it ok.
Not in my house, it doesn’t.
Porn is an outrage that should be eradicated.