Explicit Explicitly Open Living

My Father – Deserving of Honor and Respect

Every so often we’re hit with these moments where greatness is displayed. The thing is, greatness doesn’t show up in the midst of bright lights, crowds or power. I immediately think of our Lord Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane where he prays “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." It’s in Christ’s humility that greatness is revealed.

Christ’s dedication, love, humility and sacrifice are so clearly depicted that we respond with respect and honor. I want to share another similar moment witnessed with my own father demonstrating greatness.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer after 36 years of marriage to my father. During this highly taxing time, my parents were going to take a week’s vacation in the mountains of Virginia. However, my mom’s health took a tragic turn for the worse when she became very ill due to the compounded effects of the chemotherapy. Through this time, my dad would spend all day each day in the hospital with her while she was too weak to eat, move around, and even talk.

My dad and I drove home late one evening while leaving the nightly care of my mom (his wife) to the nurses. My dad was very drained and frustrated because there was nothing he could do about the situation except wait and hope. Of course, these health issues along with the many other life stresses were wearing against him physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, it’s these times (some call it testing) that our true character shines through. I tend to think that these “tests” aren’t for God to see how true we are to him, but for us to realize that our life experiences have moved the faith of God the 18 inches from our head to our heart.

So, it’s this evening of frustration and confusion that my dad makes this profound and heartfelt plea, “I just want my wife back. I don’t know, maybe God is trying to teach me how to love my wife better.”

These are the words of greatness – words of a man filled with love and humility, but dedicated to sacrifice (similar to our Lord). It’s these moments that solidify what I’ve seen continually my whole life – a man of integrity, dedication, and relentless sacrifice.

As I reflect on those people who I look to as heroes, my dad is right there. There are a lot of weak men – losers – who live for themselves and aren’t worthy of any respect (no matter how successful they may be professionally), but then there are men like my dad who carry forth the torch of goodness in this world through pain and uncertainty. These are the men deserving of honor and respect. These are the men that the rest of us can admire, be proud of and model our character after.

Dad – you are a man deserving of much respect and honor. You continue to set a profound example of worthy character for me to follow. Thank you for being a hero and role model who stands far above many other fathers I’ve seen. I am truly blessed.

Happy Parents (Mother’s) Day

Not too long ago, I was sitting with some friends asking, “How did we get here?”  I was wondering why one of the guys had a ‘chip on his shoulder’ and I have a completely different viewpoint.  So, we were talking about our parents, upbringing, and other experiences that have defined our perspective.  During this, my friend said, “It’s a real blessing to have ‘Christian’ parents.”  At which point I launched into my rebuttal because I’m not a fan of these sort of blanket statements.  So, much of the rebuttal was simply describing my parents…

Throughout my childhood, my parents were not professed Christians.  However, my parents embodied noble and “Christian” traits much more so than I saw in my friends’ “Christian” parents.  Below are some of the reasons my parents are amazing:

1. I cannot remember my parents ever saying anything negative to me.  I’ve heard stories where some parents tell their kids that they are worthless or said something that was belittling.
2. My parents continuously reassured me they were proud of me.  I didn’t wonder if I was meeting their expectations.  I didn’t feel like I “wasn’t good enough.”  As I’ve heard stories of friends, I’m extremely grateful.
3. My parents love each other.  I’ve seen some of my friends’ parents that simply live together.  That just doesn’t look like something to look forward to.  So, I’m totally excited about the idea of marriage and a relationship that is continuously loving like the example I have in my parents.
4. My parents have always encouraged me to excel and did not pressure me into some ideal life they dreamed for me.  They let me be me and were content and proud of that.  I didn’t feel like I had to fulfill some expectations for their approval.
5. My parents demonstrated a life of character.  I wasn’t left confused between what my parents said and what they did (except for speeding).  I don’t remember hearing my parents gossip or say anything negative about others.  I didn’t see them comprise doing what is right for the sake of money.
6. My parents live out a balanced lifestyle.  Living in DC, I see so much busyness and wonder how the family survives.  My parents did work hard in their professions; however, we always had family dinners (mostly at home).
7. My parents do not live in debt.  Strange, but I value this greatly.  They do not need money to enjoy life.  There wasn’t stress/worry about not having enough money.
8. My parents did a phenomenal job of letting me learn on my own.  I never felt controlled or that my life wasn’t my own.  They instilled responsibility for my own actions and allowed me to experience life in a balanced and safe environment and did not stifle my experiences.

These are fairly general and sweeping statements, but they are true.  I’m so blessed that I do not have any memories of/with my parents that I wish didn’t happen or couldn’t remember.  My parents live lives of humility and are an amazing model that I strive to embody each day.