Explicit

So, there are some stories in the Bible that seem very telling of identity in Christ. For instance, the story of the Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-30, Luke 18:18-23) [which I am thrilled to continually reinterpret in wonderful new ways].  What is it really about?  We have a guy say that he has kept the commandments of the Jewish law asking how he can have eternal life and then Jesus says, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”  Does this make much sense?  Not really.  I mean, why should he have to give up his riches?  Riches aren’t bad or evil.  There is nothing wrong with money and power in his youth.

So, if that’s not it, then it’s got to be something else.  And as I see it, it’s very clear that Jesus simply asks for the man’s full identity to be rooted in Him alone.  It wasn’t commandments/obedience that were keeping him from eternal life, but it was his security he derived from his status, power, riches, and expected longevity.

This is why I love the gospel. It’s always about give up everything; lay it down; forget yourself, your money, your past, your future. Jesus goes on to say only a few verses later “I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.”  Basically, I see Jesus saying that we have to give up things of great value - even things that seem like very good and beneficial things - to fully devote ourselves to him.  (But when?  How?  What does that look like?)

I wonder about the “rich young ruler” some more.  Why didn’t Jesus tell him to throw a big event where Jesus could preach?  Or why didn’t Jesus say that he should have the man use the money to build a trust and support the church movement?  Or a bunch of other good things that could advance the gospel?  And, I believe it’s because this man’s security (identity) was wrapped up in his riches.  But, I take it a step further to his achievements.  He had achieved an abundance of money and power at a young age and to give them up was unreasonable [Jesus is generally pretty unreasonable, but somehow the nonsensical lifestyle is always full of adventure, abundance, and joy].  Maybe using them to enhance the kingdom would be reasonable, but I bet the man would just find security in doing what looked good and advanced the reach of the gospel message.  Rather, Jesus cared about His character more than how many Bibles the rich man could distribute (yet another thing derive security/pride).

I see character as what is most important to God throughout the Bible - not achievement of God-type things.  I wonder why Moses wandered for 40 years, why Jacob had to wait 21 years for Rebecca, why Abraham was told to slaughter his only son (whom the promise was to come through), why Joseph was in jail for 7 years, etc.  God could have just given them their goal immediately, but he didn’t.  Why is that?

Then, this same God not only wants to develop our character, but he also tests us.  Why does he test us? I wonder.  I mean, God knows everything, it’s not like God needs to find out something about us (Does God wonder, “I wonder how he’ll handle this?”).  So, maybe the only reason for a test is so that we can see our true character plainly.  For when Abraham passed the test to kill his son Isaac, it was counted to him as righteousness (Romans 4:9).  But, God knew Abraham’s heart beforehand and what he would do.  But, I bet Abraham doubted himself - if he would actually follow through and fully trust God.  But, after he put his faith and God and saw that God was faithful, how much more confidence does Abraham have in God and himself?

So, Jesus tested Philip with the feeding of the 5000 (John 6:5-15) - He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do (John 6:6). Again, why? So that Philip would see his own lack of faith.  Then we look at Jesus tempted.  I wonder about this at times, for these would have been very tough tests that Satan put before him.  For, Satan basically told Jesus that he could save the whole world from Satan’s domination if Jesus would only worship Satan.  Wow, that is exactly Jesus’ goal - to save the world.  There is a small nuance difference, but both routes achieve Jesus’ goal to save the world.  It’s just what is “good and right” as I see it.  There is the “good and right” way to achieve the goal and the seemingly straightforward and immediate way.  Jesus focused on the eternal perspective and knew that immediate gratification (no matter how tempting) is not the way of righteousness (aka God).

Where do I find my identity?  How do I handle seeing the results of the character tests God places before me (both success and failure)?  Am I willing to give up everything to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousnesses (what is good and right)?  Do I trust him over these things I’d love to find security (money, job, intellect, physical abilities, charisma, health, youth, status, etc.)?

There is the awful predicament that I am consistently plagued - questions about the future.  What do I do next?  How do I handle this impending situation?  What is God’s will?  What is best?  What is good and right?  How will I know?  What’s the deal - oh frustration.

James 4 - 13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.

Isaiah 55:9 - As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Interpretation: We are incapable of determining God’s thoughts through human reasoning; therefore, we are dependent on divine revelation.

These verses tell me that I can’t plan for tomorrow and that I can’t even imagine that I can come up with what my tomorrow should even look like.  How depressing.  What am I supposed to do?  How do I deal with topics like:

• Retirement savings
• Emergency savings
• Decision to go back to school or not
• Moving or getting a new job
• Changing my longer-term commitments: girl, friends, family, organization, activities, leadership

When I read through the Bible I get even more confused.  There are some really rich people in there and some really poor.  There are people that gave up everything to follow a calling (but how can we be sure something is that “calling”?) and people that did great things in their positions (jobs).  There are people who are well-learned and those with no education.

I guess I get frustrated at God’s creativity.  For, I’d love to just be able to figure things out easy on my own.  I’d like be able to apply analysis and logic to situations in my life and figure out what to do.  But it’s not that simple, simply because God doesn’t want us bloat with pride by using the abilities he has given us to avoid Him.  So, it’s cool in the end that I must go back to Him.  I must not have pre-conceptions of where my future is going that I’m unwilling to release.  I must constantly check-myself.

How do I check myself?  Well, I generally ask myself these questions when coming on a decision.  Of course, I’m not so objective or perfect that I always allow myself to admit the full truth, but it’s definitely a start.

• Am I rationalizing/justifying my actions? (Are there excuses or self-assurance with sensical reasons?)
• Am I scared to do it and it is in alignment with God’s truths (probably should take the risk)?
• Do I have peace that after (and usually before) that I’ve acted righteously and in complete and utter humble submission to God?
• Is this good and right?

Does this resonate?

Excerpt from “When God Weeps” by Joni Eareckson Tada, p. 52-54. Also found in “Booy Meets Girl” by Joshua Harris. Understanding intellectually is completely different from feeling with the heart. So frequently, I understand and don’t feel. I proceed without passion and conviction. I wish this reality was real in my life each day.
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So, life is pretty hectic around the Christmas holiday season.  I was in Atlanta for a week with short notice only to come back to work to prepare and support a go-live (so longer days at work).  Then on top of that is the looming task of writing Christmas cards, collecting addresses, getting cool gifts, and making arrangements for the various activities of the season.  I say that to say simply, that I was very busy come Thursday, Dec 21.  I had not done any of the Christmas card work at this point and I was beginning to feel like I should just forgo the cards this year.

I was planning to leave either the evening of the 21st or the morning of the 22nd to return to the farm for Christmas.  That morning, I decided I was going to stop trying to do things myself.  I had meant to leave work early each day to work on the Christmas cards, but things just kept coming up.  So, as I prayed that morning about my frustration with the issue, somehow I was able to let go of it.

I left work that evening around 10pm.  I proceeded to go to Michael’s and pick up card stock.  I then began to work.  I consolidated my list of receivers, created the front and back of the card, and the envelopes.  I began the printing of the cards and envelopes while working on the text for the inside of each card.  I then printed all of the insides of the cards, and stuffed them into the envelopes.  I then delivered all of the cards to co-workers directly to their desks.  After this, I went home with a large stack of cards in envelopes arriving home at 7:30AM to see Phil finishing breakfast and getting ready for work.  I then proceeded to address and stamp each card.  I finished this a little after 9:30AM.  I then packed my things for the trip to the farm and proceeded back to work because I left my power adapter there.  I stopped by the post office and also returned the excess cards to Michael’s.  I was on now beginning the 3.5 hour drive to the farm without any sleep.

After arriving home, I went to dinner with the parents, unpacked, etc.  I went to bed at a reasonable hour of 10pm.  Throughout the entire endeavor, I was consistently realizing God’s provision in my life.  I know that it wasn’t under my power that I was able to work all day and night and the next day without becoming incredibly tired – that’s just not something I can do.  Also, the simple fact that everything went smoothly shows that God was involved.  I’ve never been able to create Christmas cards in anywhere near 12 hours of time.

Basically, that is the long way of saying that God is good.  I feel like He really enjoys it when we rely on him and not ourselves.  As I’ve been reading through the history Israel through it’s many kings and wars, God consistently blesses battles when the people rely on him and brings curses when the people attempt to overcome in their own strength.  It’s the same with me, each time I find myself attempting to accomplish under my own strength I get frustrated and many times fail.  Yet, when I just let go of my ego and pride and all of that self-centeredness for a few moments and rely on God’s provisions, things seems to work out.  Hence why my favorite verse is Matt 6:33.

So, I just finished reading a chapter in “Velvet Elvis” by Rob Bell. And, well, I got excited, inspired, angry, upset, frustrated, confused, concerned, hurt, and thrilled. So, in case you don’t know, I’m not invincible, some super-person, or any sort of person that is really good at anything. I make mistakes; I try to do right; sometimes I don’t think about what is right. I fail with some things repeatedly because I am weak. I don’t have a clue what the future holds. I don’t care too much about what is in the future actually. I care about who I am now. As you may know, I’m not good at being who I say I am or who I want to be. I hate it. So, I take some “drastic” actions at times. Drastic change is what is needed in my life, right? I mean, I don’t want to keep going on as things are. It’s frustrating, pointless, painful, tiresome, and unfulfilling. I am looking for something more in life, something worth living, something with meaning and purpose – something that excites me to get up each day to live, not something to endure. I’m sick of working, and trying, and pushing, and learning, and everything. It’s time to exist, to be, to live.
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So how do you fully trust God with your life? How can you truely give up your own hopes, dreams, plans, and fears?

I was asked this question by a friend of mine. I’m not sure how to best address this, but here goes.

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