Philippians 2 - 1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!

What does this say to me?  For me it requires that I question myself on every decision that I make.  What does “selfish ambition” or “vein conceit” really mean?  I’ve pulled together some references, but it’s very clearly anything with selfish motives (even if they are “good” and can seem God-glorifying).

I think of this song by Mainstay, Take Away, where the artist says, “Ruin my agenda, holy as it never was.”  I know that I try to claim that my plans and agendas are holy and of God, but they are only me attempting to fool God and manipulate Him into my agenda.  For some reason, I like to set forth on things that most people will think are good and godly, yet I know that I’m only doing it for their praise and that my God isn’t really all that trilled at all.

I also think of those preachers who only want to grow their church just because bigger is better - it’s somehow validates their worthiness as a pastor.  Vein conceit comes to play when I think of people that manipulate others in some way.  It’s this idea that my idea and way is better and I don’t respect your idea as on equal footing as mine.  It’s this conceit rooted in vanity (or pride) for whatever reason - age, intelligence, physical abilities, etc - just our abilities.  I consider those (our abilities) vain - only because everything is given by God out of grace.  For we deserve nothing and have nothing except by the grace of God.  We are no better than anybody else because we simply can’t weigh the value of traits because all of them are given at His discretion; who are we to judge value?

James speaks of “selfish ambition” as earthly, unspiritual and demonic “wisdom” (James 3:13-16). The Lord himself warned against seeking first place (Matthew 20:26-27), desiring power, prestige and wealth (Luke 14:10). Jesus called his disciples to a life of self-sacrifice that gives priority to God’s kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33).

From The Complete book of Everyday Christianity

As a work of the flesh, selfish ambition is present when we define ourselves by our achievements, rather than by our character. For many men, and increasingly for women, the choice of career represents an “idealized fantasy of who one is or might become . . . the medium through which these dreams are enacted and judged” (Ochberg, p. 3).

Symptoms of this selfish ambition are relentless striving with an inability to rest, discouragement at the lack of recognition obtained for one’s hard work, predatory competition (even in Christian leadership), use of the present situation (and people) as a stepping stone and an “endless itchiness for other possibilities” (Schnase, p. 17). The Bible leaves little room for exalting human achievement and constantly points us in the direction of exulting in God’s achievements. But our motives are always mixed, and a theology of grace accepts humanness just as it is. At the same time it points to something better. Because ambition is not uniformly evil, it is a risk worth taking.

Somehow, I need to check my motivations consistently and have my friends relentlessly question why I live my life the way I do.  I’ll have to agree with Socrates when he says, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  So, I invite you to examine my life each and every day.  For, I give myself too much slack.  Plus life is way more fun examined and alongside great friends.

So, there are some stories in the Bible that seem very telling of identity in Christ. For instance, the story of the Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-30, Luke 18:18-23) [which I am thrilled to continually reinterpret in wonderful new ways].  What is it really about?  We have a guy say that he has kept the commandments of the Jewish law asking how he can have eternal life and then Jesus says, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”  Does this make much sense?  Not really.  I mean, why should he have to give up his riches?  Riches aren’t bad or evil.  There is nothing wrong with money and power in his youth.

So, if that’s not it, then it’s got to be something else.  And as I see it, it’s very clear that Jesus simply asks for the man’s full identity to be rooted in Him alone.  It wasn’t commandments/obedience that were keeping him from eternal life, but it was his security he derived from his status, power, riches, and expected longevity.

This is why I love the gospel. It’s always about give up everything; lay it down; forget yourself, your money, your past, your future. Jesus goes on to say only a few verses later “I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.”  Basically, I see Jesus saying that we have to give up things of great value - even things that seem like very good and beneficial things - to fully devote ourselves to him.  (But when?  How?  What does that look like?)

I wonder about the “rich young ruler” some more.  Why didn’t Jesus tell him to throw a big event where Jesus could preach?  Or why didn’t Jesus say that he should have the man use the money to build a trust and support the church movement?  Or a bunch of other good things that could advance the gospel?  And, I believe it’s because this man’s security (identity) was wrapped up in his riches.  But, I take it a step further to his achievements.  He had achieved an abundance of money and power at a young age and to give them up was unreasonable [Jesus is generally pretty unreasonable, but somehow the nonsensical lifestyle is always full of adventure, abundance, and joy].  Maybe using them to enhance the kingdom would be reasonable, but I bet the man would just find security in doing what looked good and advanced the reach of the gospel message.  Rather, Jesus cared about His character more than how many Bibles the rich man could distribute (yet another thing derive security/pride).

I see character as what is most important to God throughout the Bible - not achievement of God-type things.  I wonder why Moses wandered for 40 years, why Jacob had to wait 21 years for Rebecca, why Abraham was told to slaughter his only son (whom the promise was to come through), why Joseph was in jail for 7 years, etc.  God could have just given them their goal immediately, but he didn’t.  Why is that?

Then, this same God not only wants to develop our character, but he also tests us.  Why does he test us? I wonder.  I mean, God knows everything, it’s not like God needs to find out something about us (Does God wonder, “I wonder how he’ll handle this?”).  So, maybe the only reason for a test is so that we can see our true character plainly.  For when Abraham passed the test to kill his son Isaac, it was counted to him as righteousness (Romans 4:9).  But, God knew Abraham’s heart beforehand and what he would do.  But, I bet Abraham doubted himself - if he would actually follow through and fully trust God.  But, after he put his faith and God and saw that God was faithful, how much more confidence does Abraham have in God and himself?

So, Jesus tested Philip with the feeding of the 5000 (John 6:5-15) - He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do (John 6:6). Again, why? So that Philip would see his own lack of faith.  Then we look at Jesus tempted.  I wonder about this at times, for these would have been very tough tests that Satan put before him.  For, Satan basically told Jesus that he could save the whole world from Satan’s domination if Jesus would only worship Satan.  Wow, that is exactly Jesus’ goal - to save the world.  There is a small nuance difference, but both routes achieve Jesus’ goal to save the world.  It’s just what is “good and right” as I see it.  There is the “good and right” way to achieve the goal and the seemingly straightforward and immediate way.  Jesus focused on the eternal perspective and knew that immediate gratification (no matter how tempting) is not the way of righteousness (aka God).

Where do I find my identity?  How do I handle seeing the results of the character tests God places before me (both success and failure)?  Am I willing to give up everything to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousnesses (what is good and right)?  Do I trust him over these things I’d love to find security (money, job, intellect, physical abilities, charisma, health, youth, status, etc.)?

There is the awful predicament that I am consistently plagued - questions about the future.  What do I do next?  How do I handle this impending situation?  What is God’s will?  What is best?  What is good and right?  How will I know?  What’s the deal - oh frustration.

James 4 - 13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.

Isaiah 55:9 - As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Interpretation: We are incapable of determining God’s thoughts through human reasoning; therefore, we are dependent on divine revelation.

These verses tell me that I can’t plan for tomorrow and that I can’t even imagine that I can come up with what my tomorrow should even look like.  How depressing.  What am I supposed to do?  How do I deal with topics like:

• Retirement savings
• Emergency savings
• Decision to go back to school or not
• Moving or getting a new job
• Changing my longer-term commitments: girl, friends, family, organization, activities, leadership

When I read through the Bible I get even more confused.  There are some really rich people in there and some really poor.  There are people that gave up everything to follow a calling (but how can we be sure something is that “calling”?) and people that did great things in their positions (jobs).  There are people who are well-learned and those with no education.

I guess I get frustrated at God’s creativity.  For, I’d love to just be able to figure things out easy on my own.  I’d like be able to apply analysis and logic to situations in my life and figure out what to do.  But it’s not that simple, simply because God doesn’t want us bloat with pride by using the abilities he has given us to avoid Him.  So, it’s cool in the end that I must go back to Him.  I must not have pre-conceptions of where my future is going that I’m unwilling to release.  I must constantly check-myself.

How do I check myself?  Well, I generally ask myself these questions when coming on a decision.  Of course, I’m not so objective or perfect that I always allow myself to admit the full truth, but it’s definitely a start.

• Am I rationalizing/justifying my actions? (Are there excuses or self-assurance with sensical reasons?)
• Am I scared to do it and it is in alignment with God’s truths (probably should take the risk)?
• Do I have peace that after (and usually before) that I’ve acted righteously and in complete and utter humble submission to God?
• Is this good and right?

Does this resonate?

My birthday was this week. As I embark on my quarter-life crisis, I realize again that I am profoundly blessed with amazing friends. I also realize that I do not express my esteem, love or respect to my friends as I should. So, I’m eating dinner this week with some of my closest friends and, as expected, Phil stands to initiation the awkward toasting (where friends voluntarily express why one is great or has impacted their lives). But, although it is always tough for me to receive compliments or have others say that some of the things I have done are great, I was very encouraged that my lifestyle has been (to some degree) what I have desired – to be one of Integrity, Intention, and Impact.

So, with these encouragements and a renewed energy and passion for life, I am excited to take the quarter-life crisis head-on. I will be traveling to Ethiopia to diagnose and treat as many people as I can (for free) (I also get to learn and practice basic nursing techniques). I will then head over to Thailand for a couple weeks with a friend to experience part of the continent that I’ve tried to get to for 5 years. I may have an opportunity to work in Korea (long-shot) for 6-12 months as well. I have starting taking public transportation so that I can reduce daily stress, but also focus myself on bigger, more fun, dangerous, and noble things. I realize that the constant daily activity is keeping me from writing a thrilling story with my life.

With that, I conclude with something like the roasting that was given to me by a great friend on my birthday.

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>компютриtoo long ago, I was sitting with some friends asking, “How did we get here?”  I was wondering why one of the guys had a ‘chip on his shoulder’ and I have a completely different viewpoint.  So, we were talking about our parents, upbringing, and other experiences that have defined our perspective.  During this, my friend said, “It’s a real blessing to have ‘Christian’ parents.”  At which point I launched into my rebuttal because I’m not a fan of these sort of blanket statements.  So, much of the rebuttal was simply describing my parents…

So, I came home yesterday (Sunday) after spending much of the day with a good friend, jsyn, to find something put together by a fantastic friend, Phil (even though there was no mention of his name on it). Basically, he had a concept from a project that I worked on at Deloitte (Enterprise Lean Six Sigma [ELSS] case competition) and had turned it into some more than a root-cause analysis tool. He took the 5-whys example I showed him and asked some friends, “Why do you like Jason Lund?” Here’s the outcome. Totally awesome and creative as I see it.

I think of The Rescue by Cross Movement that goes like:

I’m glad I’m dead / nobody loved me but my mother / Look again my brother / the waiting room’s full of brothers and sisters you’ve touched / they may not show it all the time / but they love you very much

I realize that at times of uncertainty and doubt, I sometimes doubt whether anybody really likes, loves, or cares about me at all. But, I realize that this is merely a false attack by the Evil One. I know that I need to ignore these lies, but also that I need to remember that, even so, my identity is rooted in Christ and not in the affection of others.

Go ahead and take a look at the result. It’s even in the standard Deloitte format, the deck (aka presentation).

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I was asked to write briefly about how God is glorifying himself through my life and obedience since I have graduated from The University of Virginia.  This write comes on the heels of my UVa campus pastor asking me to share for a few minutes in front of Chi Alpha (XA) at UVa several weeks ago.  I’m always excited to push forward God’s kingdom and spur on others to take action for the name of Christ.
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I have just returned from a 2 night backpacking trip along the Appalachian Trail in the Shenandoah National Park.  Tom, Chris, and I hiked 3 miles the first day, a little over 12 the second, and 9 miles the third.  Let me recap some of the highlights.

Pictures: http://jason1365.dyndns.org/picviewer/view.php?Cat=2007%2FAT+Backpacking
Starting at 3:30 PM Sunday at 29°F we hiked for 3 miles rising 1500 ft with winds generally between 20-30 mph.  Ice covered everything for most of the journey; very beautiful.  The ice added much to the journey.  First, it was wonderfully beautiful.  I thought it just really amazing how God takes the pretty much dead and broken forest, covered it with ice, and then just setup the lighting (aka the sun) to reflect creating a sparking landscape.  The ice that had fallen from the trees (due to the wind) completely littered the path and forest ground.  This made it seem like we were walking through a major spill of a Ready Ice truck for the journey.  We reached camp at 25°F where I failed at starting a fire (far too windy).  After dinner, the three of us sat in our sleeping bags chatting for a couple hours each with a cigar, pipe, and our share of the fifth of Jim Beam.  We went to bed around 21°F.

After a decent night’s sleep, giving credit to Mr. Jim Beam, we awoke at 17°F.  We learned this morning that it would have been a good idea to sleep with both the stove fuel and water.  Also, as part of an experiment, I slept in my bag with only long-johns on while the other guys slept with several layers of pants and coats.  I was warm the whole night long, while the other guys were cold for parts of the night.  However, after some internet research, it looks like the only thing to substantiate the “sleep warmer when naked” statement is the fact sleeping with damp clothing can be chilling, clothing can restrict circulation, and too much clothing could actually compress the bag – causing a loss of insulation capacity.

What a great day.  We started the 12 mile hike at 21°F.  After the sun rose, we pretty much hiked around 30°F throughout the day.  About 5 miles into the day, we came around a bend to have a medium sized deer jump up to our right only 10 ft away.  It then flashed its beautiful white tail and jumped around 10 ft away and looked back at us.  We admired the deer for a few minutes, talking to it, etc.  As we began to walk along the deer tracked us to our right about 15 ft away.  I was actually a little concerned at this, because I don’t expect a deer to walk alongside of humans.  This is just not normal behavior.  After another 30 ft of walking, the much larger deer appears to our left – only 10 ft away.  We speculated the mother – no antlers and much larger than the first.  We didn’t seem to be in danger even though the three of us were directly between the two deer, so we talked to the mother and admired her for a moment before we proceeded with the rest of the day’s journey.

Now, apparently an incredibly rare experience.  We are walking along the mountain; I’m leading, with Chris 20 yards back and Tim another 30 yards behind him.  As we are walking there is ice falling from the trees consistently, so I’ve tuned out or dismissed most sounds around me as merely ice falling.  I hear some noise above me on the mountainside.  I look up and see the fallen trees sparking in sun.  I dismissed the noise as a larger piece of ice falling from the trees.  About 20 yards later, I hear a noise again and look up to not see anything.  As soon as I’m turning my head away, I hear a loud crash and quickly look up; attentive.  “Wow,” I think to myself.  There is a black bear only 40 yards up the mountain from me.  I have no time to think or react or anything.  The bear is moving incredibly fast.  As it is barreling down the mountain, I think to myself, “I have no gun or knife or anything.”  By the time I can think this, the bear is crossing the trail only 30 ft in front of me.  I am completely tense and speechless.  I wanted to tell the other guys to hurry up to see the bear, but I didn’t want to do anything until I felt the bear was safely away.  Once the bear is 75 yards below me, I call to the guys to hurry if they want to see a bear.  Chris runs up and I’m able to point out the black mass moving in the valley.  Once Tom gets there, the bear is no longer in sight.

I had one very clean look at the bear, when it was directly in front of me on the trial.  I’d have to estimate it was about 400 lbs.  This confirmed the fact that there is no chance of anybody outrunning a bear.  In the time it took Chris to run up to me, the bear has practically gone down the entire mountainside.  While relaying the story to Tom, I found out that in all of his experiences he has never seen a bear.  And, after getting home today, I learned that Phil’s dad has only seen two adult bears in his 32 years of spending time in forests for two days a week.  Wow, God has totally blessed me with a fantastic camping trip.

We reached camp in the evening to the pleasant surprise of a firelog.  What a wonderful relief to a 12 mile hike.  We were able to start up the log and let it dry off the other limbs that we found to eventually create a large fire.  We sat around the file chatting and drinking some Glenlivet 15 Year Old French Oak Reserve.  We went to bed and got up at 25°F.  The hike back to the cars (9 miles) wasn’t very eventful.  However, I did learn, with 3 miles left, that adjusting my pack to my body really makes carrying it much easier.  I should have read some of the instructions.

Overall, the trip was awesome.  It was very cold and very windy.  It was beautiful.  It wasn’t easy.  We were/are sore.  We learned.  We saw some fantastic wildlife (aka the bear – too bad that was mostly me).  We shared – food, stories, tasks, weight, etc.  It got to relish in how great God is – such beautiful creation, so diverse, highly creative, and incredibly intricate.

I can’t wait to do this again with some other friends in couple months.

Some topics that came up:
Zygote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zygote
Xylem: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xylem
Anamalia (Kingom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Species): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_families
Black Bear: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Black_Bear
Brown Bear: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_bear

Ugandan Endeavor

Did you know that currently, 77% of Uganda’s overall population are youth and of that, 30% are orphans?

On August 3rd I am going to Uganda to start a project that will enrich local communities, rescue child soldiers from bondage, provide orphans with an education and basic healthcare, and give the orphans hope for a future free from poverty.

To achieve these goals, local Ugandans will run an internet cafe to generate a sustainable revenue stream allowing the profits to be used to support the orphanages. My role on the project is to start the internet café, train the employees, and provide business and technical consultation to stabilize the business.

I share this vision with you because I realize that success cannot be achieved without the support from my friends. I would like you to participate in this endeavor through some of the following areas:

• Prayer: If you have a relationship with Jesus, I’d love to have you pray with me.
• Advice: If you have insights, wisdom, concerns, or questions, please contact me. If you have ideas for business in developing nations, regional contacts, or economic models for sustaining this type of work, let’s brainstorm.
• Financial Support: My financial goal is $2,500 for my trip with any additional funds going toward the $13,000 start-up cost of the internet café. If you would like to help fund the trip, business, and orphanage, please send your tax-deductible donations made out to Antioch Allocation by:
  • Mail: Antioch Allocation
    6 N. Montague St.
    Arlington, VA 22203
  • Paypal: Credit Card / eCheck

I will share my experience at http://uganda.jason1365.com and keep it updated with new insights and issues as I continue on this journey. Thank you for considering to partner with me to change the lives of Ugandan orphans through business development.

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I was driving around today and thought about how many things God has blessed me with.  I met with my advisor at work today, and he mentioned that one of the partners in the firm praised me in front of all the management regarding my performance.  I wasn’t entirely sure why my advisor would tell me that except for God to teach me.

As I was driving back to the office, I remembered the story of Daniel refusing to eat the defiled food of the king of Babalyon.  Daniel 1:9 says, “Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel.”  So, I began thinking.  Are my friends my friends because of how great I am?  I quickly come to the conclusion that it’s not because I’m great, but because God is.  God is so great that he causes others to show favor to me for no good reason.  God places me in circumstances with people for a reason unknown other than to live out my faith with these people.

 Basically, God is soverign and in control.  He gave me everything - great parents, intellect, determination, friends, talents, circumstances to excel, salvation from my own terrible decisions, mentors, everything.   How can I ever say that anything great that happens in my life is somehow out of my own hard work?  How can I even think of stealing glory from God?